Caught In A Jar
by Rheanne
Summary: Courtney has come face to face with one of life's most disheartening tragedies. How will she cope and how will the people from her past fit in with the new life that she worked so hard for? -On Hiatus-
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:  **I don't own anything except the plot

**Summary:  **Courtney and Jax left Port Charles over 16 years ago, but what happens when a tragic event forces Courtney to come home and face the mess she left behind?

_"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"_

_                                                                                                                Semi Sonic_

          Courtney Jacks wrapped her black jacket tighter around her petite frame.  The ocean breeze was picking up, causing the red and orange autumn leaves to swirl around the group of mourners.  She saw the Reverend's lips moving, no doubt trying to offer some comfort, but the words of solace were not reaching her.  Her eyes gazed around the burial site at the other onlookers; coworkers and friends were scattered around, each one with the same solemn look. 

            _He's gone_, her mind repeated over and over again.  Her husband, of almost seventeen years was dead without warning.  He was driving home from work when the accident occurred, the truck driver never saw him coming and by the time he rounded the corner it was to late. In a single instant her life had been altered forever and there was no changing it.

            Courtney felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders as the casket was being lowered into its final resting place.  She cocked her head to the right and tried to offer her son, Jay, a reassuring smile.  He squeezed her shoulders a little tighter before returning his attention to the Reverend, who was still speaking.  She tried to force herself to focus on the ceremony, but could not bear to watch any longer.

            Jax had been such an integral part of her life for so long and now she was going to have to move on without him.  It hardly seemed fair; especially after all they had been through.  Their decision to leave Port Charles was hard on both of them, but it was a necessary move once he found out about her pregnancy.  He wanted to do anything possible to protect her and their unborn child, which meant leaving behind the only life they ever knew.  So they left and made a nice home for themselves in a quaint Massachusetts suburb that had never heard of the names Jacks, Corinthos, or even Morgan.

            When Jay was born she remembered the shear look of joy that overtook her husband's facial expression and the unbearable pain when he looked into the newborn's steely blue eyes. Yes, those eyes unmistakably belonged to different man; a man that both parents assumed was out of their lives forever. Still in the face of betrayal, Jax stayed strong and true; raising Jay as if he was his own son and never once questioning Courtney.  She knew it hurt him, watching his boy turn into a man that looked so much like her ex husband.

He looked past her betrayal and offered unconditional love for her as well as her son, which was one of the reasons that she stayed in a marriage that made her unhappy.  Sure, she loved Jax, but only for the comfort and security he brought her.  He gave her a stability that she never had before and it would be too difficult to walk away from that situation. So she stayed in order to give her son a solid home base and a respectable father figure.

            Courtney felt tug at her sleeve and felt Jay carefully begin to guide her away from the gravesite, but she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to heading back to the casket to say goodbye to her husband one more time.

            "I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you needed. I'll always appreciate what you did for us.  I love you." She whispered before walking back to join her son.


	2. Sick and Tired

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything except the plot

**Summary: **Courtney and Jax left Port Charles over 16 years ago, but what happens when a tragic event forces Courtney to come home and face the mess she left behind?

* * *

_"Starting over, cold turkey. Washing your heart of everything that's dirty; seal your heart of every crack"_

_ Cross Canadian Ragweed _

* * *

Courtney surveyed the outside perimeter of the place that she had called home for the past fifteen years. It was over. She was leaving behind her fairy tale life to face a much more gruesome real world. It was time for her to go back home; back to Port Charles. The name of the town brought a shiver down her spine as she recalled the place that had once meant the world to her. The inhabitants were all her family and she had turned her back on every last one of them.

Sonny had never quite forgiven her for leaving to marry Jax. And as for Carly, while beside the occasional phone call, her best friend was no longer involved her life. She knew very little about her nephews; just that Micheal was now twenty-one and was attending NYU and Morgan, now eighteen, was graduating high school in the spring. Their family that Sonny had tried so hard to perserve was perfect and Courtney was happy for them, if not a little jealous.

Jason, the person who once meant everything to her, was now a stranger. She had no idea if he had a family of his own or even if he was still married to Sam. It had been years since she spoken to him and even longer since she'd seen him. A small smile played on her lips as she remembered their last interaction. It was the night before he was set to marry Sam and to this day she will never understand what brought her to his penthouse that night.

* * *

_Flashback_

_ "Hey," he answered the door with a surprise look on his face. Surely, she was the last person he thought he would receive a visit from on the night before his wedding. Courtney couldn't say anything; she was caught frozen in his stare. She acted on impulse, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him into a sensual kiss. His body stiffened in hesitation, but he quickly resisted to her kiss and guided her inside, closing the door behind them. _

_ Neither of them thought of the consequences as their clothes were being strewn about the sleek living room. Their bodies lay intertwined on the cool leather sofa, an uncomfortable silence filled the air. _

_ "I'm sorry," she whispered pushing herself away from him and off the couch. She noticed the surprise mixed with understanding that filled his cold blue eyes. He watched as she quickly grabbed her clothes and fumbled to get dress._

_ "Say the word and I won't do it, Courtney," his voice came out as a hoarse whisper. She wanted so badly to scream and yell at him for giving her the power to decide his fate, but instead she just shook her head. _

_ "I shouldn't have come here," was all she could get out before rushing out the door._

_End Flashback_

* * *

Sam and Jason had gotten married the next day without a hitch and Courtney left Port Charles within the month. She and Jason never spoke of that night, nor did they tell anyone. It was their own little secret that was not to be shared with the world.

"Mom, you okay?" Jay asked coming up from behind her. It amazed her everyday how much her son's actions mirrored Jason; always taking care of the people he loves before himself.

"I'm fine, kiddo," she offered with a smile.

"Who are you calling kiddo? I'm almost seventeen years old." He scoffed with a smirk on his face. His blue eyes lit up in amusement.

"You'll always be a kid to me." She returned and was met with a roll of his eyes. "Are you sure that you are ok with leaving?" The light mood suddenly turned serious.

"If going to Port Charles makes you happy then it makes me happy," he answered. He surprised her with his maturity. He was willing to leave behind his friends, school, and the only home he ever knew for her. "Don't worry, Ma. I'll be fine. I'm a very adaptable young man." He added with a sarcastic air.

"Your so much more than that. I love you. " Courtney whispered reaching up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

The drive to Port Charles was longer than Courtney had anticipated and it was close to midnight when they finally arrived at their destination. She pulled the car into the newly renovated Port Charles hotel and looked to find Jay asleep in the passenger seat. Careful not to disturb him, she quietly opened the car door and headed into the lobby in hopes of finding a vacancy.

"Hello. How can I be of assistance tonight?" A young man that looked to be the same age as Jay greeted her.

"I was wondering if you have an open room?" Courtney inquired.

"We sure do."

"Great." Courtney replied handing over her credit card.

"Courtney?" She felt her heart begin to pound at the sound of his unmistakable voice. She had hoped to avoid all reminders of her past until at least the morning, but apparently her irrepressible bad luck was raring it's ugle head, again.

"Sonny," she replied turning to face her brother.


	3. World Full Of Hate

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything except the plot

**Summary: **Courtney and Jax left Port Charles over 16 years ago, but what happens when a tragic event forces Courtney to come home and face the mess she left behind?

* * *

_Home, back home  
Where the memories all have gathered up and  
Slowly turn to gold_

_ Tim McGraw_

* * *

Sonny looked about the same to her, the only difference being the gray that peppered his dark mane and the creases around his eyes. He looked tired and uncomfortable in the formal black tux that she was sure Carly had picked out. "What the hell are you doing here?" His razor sharp voice cut right through her. She hadn't expected a warm welcome, but somehow she thought that it would be better than this.

"Good to see you, too." Courtney mumbled in return. She watched her brother shake his head in annoyance and waited for the lecture that was sure to follow. Things between her and Sonny had been strained to say the least. He never understood her relationship with Jax and refused to attend the wedding. He cut her out of his life and she did the same with him; after awhile it became as though that she didn't even have a brother.

"You're not welcome in this town any longer," his low voice broke into her thoughts. She knew that he would be angry, but the fire in his eyes showed so much more.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you spoke for the entire community of Port Charles," she returned dryly.

"This isn't a joke." He replied. "There isn't anything funny about what you did to everyone that once loved you. Do you even care that you turned your back on your family?" A few tears sprung to her eyes, but she refused to cry in front him.

"What exactly did I do, Sonny? Marry someone that you didn't approve of? I hardly think that the blame should all be on my shoulders; you made it very clear that it was either you or Jax."

"And you chose Jax over your own flesh a blood. You ran away and never looked back. You couldn't even be bothered to return for Mike's funeral." He roared in frustration.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Courtney's ears perked up as she looked past Sonny to see Jay making his way into the lobby. His face was red with anger and annoyance, which made her wonder how much of the conversation he had heard. He forced himself into the little space the separated her from Sonny, who seemed a little surprised at the younger man's actions.

"This is none of your business, kid." Sonny said.

"The hell it isn't. No one speaks to my mother like that." Jay replied hotly.

"Mother?" His eyebrow shot up as he threw a skeptical look at Courtney. Jay nodded as Sonny began studying the boy and she knew that the resemblance to his best friend would not go unnoticed by her brother.

"Sonny, this is Jay." She whispered trying to keep her voice from quivering. "Jay, this is Sonny… my brother." She saw the look of shock come across her son's face. He had heard of Sonny before, usually when his Mom and Dad were fighting. But as far as their relation to him, Jay had never been sure. All he knew was that Sonny was Carly's husband, and Carly and his mom had been friends years ago.

"Jesus Sonny! Don't you know it's rude to leave your own party?" Carly bellowed as she entered the lobby, her face becoming pale when she noticed her sister-in-law. Courtney turned back the counter and grabbed the key that the concierge had left.

"Room 206. I'll be up in a little while." She said turning to her son and placing the key into his hand. He glanced back and forth between Sonny and Courtney with a look of worry on his face. "I'll be fine." She gently pushed him in the direction of their room and watched as he threw one more dirty look at Sonny before disappearing into the elevator. She could feel the couple's unwavering stares sizing her up. She turned back towards them determined to handle this in a mature manner.

"He's a little overprotective." Courtney muttered.

"He must get that from his father," Sonny replied pointedly. A wave of nausea came across her, but she tried to ignore it as she smiled weakly.

"We heard about Jax. I'm very sorry, Courtney." Carly offered. Courtney studied the face of the woman that she had once called her best friend. She had aged gracefully and still held the air of confidence that most women envied. Her dark hair was pulled back to reveal the sincerity and remorse in her almond shaped eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered as she shifted uncomfortably. Her gaze wandered over to the huge oak doors that Carly had just came from wondering who would emerge next.

"How have you been?" Carly asked trying to remain cordial on her husband's behalf. Before Courtney could respond, Sonny cut in.

"Oh I'm sure she's been just great. You know—she has the perfect life that she always wanted. Who gives a damn about the people she hurt in her quest for the American dream?" Sonny growled. Carly prodded her elbow into his ribs, but the damage had already been done. The tears that Courtney had been trying so hard to keep at bay where now coursing down her flushed cheeks, but Sonny was not done yet. "Was he worth it? Huh? Was Jax worth everything?"

"Stop it, Sonny!" Carly interjected.

"Yeah, he was worth it. Jax may not have been perfect, but he never once turned his back on me. He loved me unconditionally even when I didn't deserve it. He took good care of his family and never put us in danger. I am not sorry for choosing him over you." Courtney spat out. "Now this has been fun, but I need to check on my son." She turned around and headed upstairs never once looking back to see the astonished looks on her brother and sister-in-law's faces.

* * *

She found Jay sitting on the bed closest to the window when she entered the small hotel room. He looked tired and confused. His mother could only imagine the questions he had for her.

"You ok?" He asked studying her for any trace of emotional distress. She had become very good at hiding what she was feeling in order to protect him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she smiled reassuringly.

"How come you never told them about me?" Courtney took a deep breath trying to think of a way of explaining the situation to him.

"I didn't tell them, because it was none of their business."

"Are you ashamed of me?" He sounded hurt and her heart broke.

"No, of course not," she assured him taking a seat next to him on the corner of the bed. "My brother is a very difficult man. He loves people when it's convenient for him and when it's not, while you are as good as dead to him. He never approved of me and your father's relationship, which is why he cut me out of his life. I didn't want to give him the chance to do the same thing to you."

"How come he didn't like dad?"

"Umm, well you see…" she strained to find a way to explain it to him without going into too much detail. "Before me, there was a woman that both your dad and Sonny were in love with. They butted heads a lot over her and that caused a lot of bad blood between them. And I guess neither of them ever really got over it."

"Well, we don't need him," Jay scoffed.

"I don't want you to hate him, Jay. Deep down he's a good guy and he is your uncle." Courtney advised. Her son nodded in response, but she knew better. Once someone got on her son's bad side, it was nearly impossible to redeem yourself in his eyes. Another charming quality he got from his father.

"Does Sonny know my biological father?" His mother was caught off guard by the question. Jay knew that Jax was not technically his father, but never brought up anything about his real father. To her son, Jax was his Dad whether or not the DNA matched. She had expected him to get curious and ask questions, but had not prepared herself to answer them. Seeing the perturbed look on his mother's face, Jay quickly retracted his question. "You know what? Never mind. I'm just going to brush my teeth and go to sleep."

"Jay," she said softly, but he just shook his head and kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't worry, Ma. We'll talk about it some other time." He murmured before heading into the connected bathroom.

* * *

The incessant banging on the door was an unwelcome wake up call for Courtney. She peeked out of one eye to see Jay still fast asleep. Lucky kid could sleep through anything.

"I'm coming!" She groaned forcing herself out of bed. Opening the door, she found a bright-eyed Carly standing there with a huge grin on her face. "Damn it, Carly! It's 7:44 in the morning!" She growled.

"We need to talk," her best friend announced and Courtney let out a sigh. She looked over her shoulder and saw her son begin to stir in his bed.

"I'll meet you at Kelly's in twenty minutes."

"Ok, but if your not there, I'm just going to have to come back here and make even more noise." Carly explained innocently and was met with the door being shut in her face. _Great, just the way I wanted to start off my day_, Courtney thought to herself before jumping in the shower.


	4. Desperado

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything except the plot

**Summary: **Courtney and Jax left Port Charles over 16 years ago, but what happens when a tragic event forces Courtney to come home and face the mess she left behind?

**Author's Note: **I'm not sure how old Courtney is in the show, but for the sake of my story we are going to say that she was fairly young, probably about 22 years old, which would make her about 38 in my story. I also want to thank everyone for the positive reviews. I really appreciate all the feedback and I'm willing to incorporate any ideas that anyone has, so let me know. Oh yeah, by the way…I'm fairly certain that it's going to Journey, but it's not set in stone, yet.

* * *

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't   
coming. Or the moment of truth in your lies_

_ Goo Goo Dolls_

* * *

__

Courtney entered the bustling atmosphere of Kelly's. The Monday morning rush was in full effect and it took her a moment to search through the sea of people to find Carly sitting at a table in the back corner. She forced herself through the masses, finally taking her seat at the table. Her best friend's attention was occupied by a young waitress, so she took this time to look around Kelly's. It hadn't changed a bit. The old worn tables were set up in the same exact spots that she left them. The customers were much the same, if not a little older. She caught sight of a grown up Emily and Zander snuggled in the corner booth together. _I thought he was dead_, Courtney wondered making a mental note to ask Carly about it later. Liz was sitting with a young man, who she assumed was her son. He looked exactly like her right down to the dark hair and round face. She searched the crowd for more familiar faces, but came up empty.

"Earth to Courtney," Carly's screechy voice interrupted her.

"What?" The younger woman answered in annoyance. It was bad enough that she was ripped out of her slumber, but now Carly wanted to have a heart to heart.

"Still a little bitchy in the morning I see," Carly grumbled.

"Well forgive me, Carly. My husband just died, my brother is trying to run me out of town, and now I have you waking me up at dawn to have a discussion that I'm not sure you will even understand. So yeah, I guess I am a little "bitchy" this morning." Courtney snapped.

"You done?" Carly asked with an arched eyebrow. "Because, you are not the only one that has to deal with your return to Port Charles. Sonny may have been a little out of line last night, but did you honestly expect him to greet you with open arms?"

"No," Courtney mumbled.

"I love you, Court. But so much has changed around here and it was naïve of you to think that you could just walk back into town and have everyone accept you.

"That's not what I thought. I know how hard it's going to be, but I have no where else to go!" Courtney let out in a yelp. "Do you think that I want to bring my son around this chaos? I don't, but there was no where else for me to turn. So yeah, maybe coming here was not the best idea, but it was the only choice I had."

"Why?" Courtney looked at her in confusion. "Why is Port Charles the only place that you could go? I mean it's no secret that Jax had money, why not put it to use?"

"I can't."

"Why? I'm sure he wouldn't object to his son and wife using his money to better their lives in his absence," Carly prodded. She noticed the wince on the other woman's face at the mention of "his" son.

"I just can't, Carly! Jay and I are going to be fine without Jax's money."

"Oh my God," Carly murmured. "Sonny was right; Jay's not Jax's is he?" Courtney cursed her best friend for being so observant. _How could Sonny possibly have known? He only saw Jay for a few moments._ _How am I going to ge_t _out of this?_ Her mind raced.

"It's none of your business," Courtney forced her voice to be steady and firm. The other woman didn't respond right away, but nodded her head. The gesture made the blonde uneasy, knowing that Carly never gave up that easy.

"You know—Jason's not married to Sam anymore," to anyone else the comment may have seemed random, but Courtney knew better. It was Carly's way of planning out her next move. "He divorced the tramp about three months after you left. She was never even pregnant; it was all some elaborate hoax to stay close to Sonny."

"Oh."

"And then there was Robin," Carly continued on. "Yup, little Miss Scorpio made her return to Port Charles and into Jason's heart. I really thought that they were going to make it this time, but unfortunately Robin passed away a few years ago along with their daughter Emma. It was a tragedy… The bomb wasn't even meant for them."

"That's enough, Carly." Courtney whispered hoarsely. "I'm not sure what you're trying to do, but stop."

"You know— even when Robin was around; he held onto to hope that you might come back," Carly began, ignoring the other woman's pleas. "He would never admit it to anyone, but you could see it in his eyes; the way they lit up at the mention of your name."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You know—Jason was an excellent father; Emma absolutely adored him. I think losing her was harder on him than losing Robin. He's strong, though. He pushed through and made it out of that dark time" Carly carried on. "I sometimes wonder what it would be like if he had another child, because if anyone deserves a second chance at fatherhood it's Jason. Maybe someday will find out," she finished.

"You can't tell him, Carly." Courtney pleaded.

"I'm not going to say a word; you are." The blonde shook her head. "You have already robbed Jason of valuable years with his son, not too mention what Jay lost."

"I thought Sam was pregnant with his kid. What was I suppose to do? Stick around and force him to raise another child, that I wasn't even sure was his at the time." Courtney was trying to make her friend understand, but it didn't seem to be working.

"You could have come back. You know—I'm sure it didn't take long to see the resemblance between the two; Sonny noticed it within five minutes," Carly spat back.

"And how would I explain that to Jax? Oh yeah, you have been great, but I am going to take Jay into a life filled with violence, codes, and pain." Courtney growled.

"You know—you can try and spin it anyway you want, but what you did was wrong and there is no way around that. So, I'm going to go, because it's obvious that you need some time to think." Carly responded quietly getting up and leaving an overwhelmed Courtney alone in the busy diner.

* * *

Jason Morgan entered Penthouse Four. His life over the past few years had changed drastically, not that anyone would notice. On the surface things seemed the same; he still lived across the hall from his boss Sonny Corinthos and spent almost every waking moment at work. Just below the surface, however, Jason Morgan was a different man. A man that still ached for the loss of his family and wondered what happened to the blue eyed beauty he once loved. His life was a series of missed opportunities: Robin, Courtney, and unfortunately Emma were all casualties in the everlasting war that he called his life.

His mind often drifted back to the cool December day that Robin and Emma settled into his sleek, black Rolls Royce. They were heading off the visit Robin's family and Jason was supposed to meet them at Mac's house around seven. They hadn't even pulled off the curb when the explosion happened, causing both females to be killed instantly. The bomb was supposed to be for Sonny, but unfortunately the men who set it up mistook Jason's car for Sonny's. It was a mistake that he had to live with for the rest of his life. Maybe if he had gone with his wife and daughter he would have noticed the blinking red light tucked away in the cigarette lighter, but he was too busy with work to be bothered. Another missed opportunity.

"Jase, you ok?" Sonny's low timber broke into his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Johnny said you wanted to see me?" He tried to read the look on the older man's face, but could not.

"Courtney's back in town." He announced searching Jason's eyes for any sort of emotion. The younger man's mind raced with happiness and dread. Their last night together flashed in his head. _Say the word and I won't do it_. His final plea to her had gone unanswered. "I just you know—wanted to give you the heads up." Jason noticed that there was something that Sonny wasn't telling him, but decided not to press the issue.

"Thanks," he responded and the elder man nodded. An uncomfortable silence filled the air until Johnny entered the room; the harsh slam of the hard cherry door caused both men to look up.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but there is a problem down at the docks." Sonny and Jason looked at him in alarm.

"What kind of trouble?"

"Something about one of the coffee shipments."

"I'll handle it," Jason offered. He needed an excuse to get out of the Penthouse before Carly came home and wanted to talk about Courtney. He loved her to death, but sometimes she was unbearable in her eternal quest to save him. After all, he was a grown man that could take care of himself and handle his own problems. He nodded to Sonny before leaving.

* * *

Jay slid out of bed looking around anxiously for his mother. His search came up empty except for a short note left on the night stand.

_Jay,_

_ Went out with Carly for a bit. There's money on the table in case you want to order breakfast. Be back soon._

_ Love,_

_ Mom_

He found a twenty dollar bill placed strategically on the room service menu. His stomach began to churn at the thought of eating any sort of hotel food. Getting up, he made his way over to the window. The street scenes of Port Charles seemed very much like the ones in his hometown. He suddenly felt the overwhelming need to get out and explore and see what other connections he could make to his home. After a quick shower, he wrote a note to his mother, shoved the twenty bucks in his pocket and setout on his sight-seeing adventure.

* * *

Jason had just finished clearing up the mess on the docks. Apparently, Ric had stopped by and wanted to do a random inspection of the shipment. Sonny had told Ric numerous times that their business was legit, but there were still searches and questioning. It was tougher being an upstanding citizen than it was to be a criminal. It had taken twenty years, but Sonny Corinthos and Jason Morgan were finally clean, law abiding citizens; ironically, the PCPD harassed them even more now than they ever did before. It had only taken two deaths and four heartbreaks to get him out of the business.

His mind drifted to Courtney. Jax's death had been a shock to everyone, but never in his wildest dreams did he think that she would come back to Port Charles. He used to fantasize about the day she would come back and he would fix things between them. He would walk away from his career for her and they would ride off into their fairy-tale life; the life that he knew she deserved. He slowly gave up hope with each passing year and then Robin came back. Sure she wasn't Courtney, but she was the only woman that could even hold a candle to his ex wife.

"Get your hands off of me!" Jason heard a young voice shout. He looked up to see Faith Roscoe with a tight grip clasped to a young man's arm.

"Listen here you sniveling brat…" Faith rasped. The teenager squared his shoulders defiantly, obviously preparing himself for a battle.

"Who are you calling a brat, you old wench?" The comment elicited a chuckle from the spectator and look of shear rage on Faith's face. The anger was rising in the petite blonde and Jason was sure that if someone didn't intervene, she would end up taking out her gun and shooting the kid in broad daylight.

"Leave him alone," Jason stepped in between the two, which caused a look of surprise from Roscoe. "Come on Faith, what are you trying to do? Steal his lunch money? I know times are tough, but are you really that despicable?"

"This is none of your business, Morgan!" Faith growled and Jason laughed.

"I'm saving your ass right now. If Ric sees you harassing a minor, well he'll make sure that you go down for every charge he can trump up."

"I don't need your help. You and Sonny already gave me everything I needed when you left the game," Faith whispered with a smile which caused a look of disgust creep on Jason's face. _Sonny?_ Jay thought to himself. How did this guy have ties to Sonny and what kind of "game" was that old witch talking about.

"Whatever, just get out of here, Roscoe!" The older of the two men ordered and surprisingly the woman obeyed. She retreated back before staring down Jay. "You alright?" Jason asked turning around to face the young man. He was slightly shocked by the boy's haunting blue eyes.

"I'm fine, thanks. I could have handled it myself," Jay assured the stranger while shoving a disposable camera into his back pocket. He looked up to meet the gaze of the older man and was surprised by his striking resemblance to himself.

"I bet you could have," Jason chuckled.

"Who was she?"

"Faith Roscoe; Port Charles resident thug," Jason responded.

"Yeah well if that is what passes for a "thug" around here than I'm pretty sure this town is more pathetic than I thought," Jay grumbled and caused a grin to form on his companion's lips.

"It could be worse. Why was she bothering you?"

"I was snapping pictures and I happened to get one of her doing some unsavory business," Jay explained.

"This town is full of "unsavory business," just watch out for her."

"Thanks. My name's Jay," the young man informed him offering a handshake.

"Jason," he said noticing the firmness of the kid's handshake. The similarities were beginning to add up in Jay's troubled mind. The name and resemblance were hard to ignore as he wondered if he was shaking hands with his biological father.

"That's some handshake you got there," Jason remarked.

"Oh yeah, my dad taught me that. It's suppose to me make people respect me or something," the kid laughed. The two men settled in a comfortable each one lost in their own thoughts and worries.

* * *

Courtney wandered aimlessly around Port Charles Park. She was beginning to worry about Jay; he was naïve to the people in this town and she didn't want him getting into any trouble. She caught a glimpse of his lean form across the baseball field, but failed to notice his companion. She sped up a little bit and made it across the diamond in record time.

"Hey. I've been looking for you," she informed him leaning against a tree to catch her breath. When her son didn't respond, she followed his gaze and noticed Jason standing across from her.

"Jason," she whispered her breath hitching slightly. _Does he know? Does Jay know? He still looks good;_ her jumbled thoughts were flying through her head.

"Courtney…"


	5. Buried Myself Alive

**Disclaimer:  **I don't own anything except the plot

**Summary:  **Courtney and Jax left Port Charles over 16 years ago, but what happens when a tragic event forces Courtney to come home and face the mess she left behind?

**Author's Note:  **Wow! You guys are really spoiling me with the reviews, I appreciate them so much.  I have decided that it is going to be Journey.  I was originally going to have it be a Jason & Robin with Casper, but I suck at writing Robin.  So instead of butchering Robin, I am going to write Courtney and Jason, because I feel like I can write that couple the best.  As always, let me know what you think. Thanks and enjoy!

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_I'm sorry that I hurt you.  It's something that I must live with everyday. _

                                                                                                          Hoobastank

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"Jason," she whispered his name once more.  It took her a second to recognize that it was actually him standing in front of her, holding a conversation with her son of all people.  She refused to meet Jay's gaze, because she knew that he knew.  Her only hope was that Jason had not figured it out yet.  She wanted to tell him herself and explain it all to him.  Who was she kidding? Jason wasn't going to listen to her explanation; he was going to focus on the betrayal and shut her out.

                "How have you been?" His low timber brought her back to reality.  She took in his appearance.  Jeans, T-shirt, and a black leather jacket…something's never changed. His physique and look was much the same if not a little more grown up.  He was leaner and his hair was shorter than she remembered, but that was about it.  He was still gorgeous and sadly, elicited the same butterflies in her stomach.  She was thirty-eight years old and still getting giddy over a guy.  She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at her own immaturity.__

                "I've been good, you?" She answered suddenly remembering the question he asked her.

                "I can't complain…I'm sorry about Jax," he offered with remorse in his eyes.  If anyone understood the loss of a spouse, it was him and Courtney was grateful that he knew what she was going through.  Carly could offer all the condolences she wanted, but would never understand the shear pain of losing your significant other.

                "I'm sorry about Robin," she replied trying to provide him the same solace that he just gave her.  A look of surprise clouded his hazy blue eyes.  "Carly told me about it." He nodded and a silence fell over the group until Jay cleared his throat somewhat noisily. She looked over at her son sympathetically, but he looked away. 

                "I need to get away for awhile," Jay's voice was soft as he headed off away from his mother.

                "Jay, wait." Courtney called, but the young man just shook his head.

                "I'll see you later at the hotel, Mom." He bellowed, continuing on his way.

                "That's quite a kid you got there," Jason commented and Courtney laughed.

                "Yeah, he's the best…" she whispered.  She slid a shaky hand through her hair as the silence engulfed them.  There was so many things that she wanted to say, but none seemed appropriate right now.  _Oh yeah, by the way Jay is your son.  I've kept him a secret from you for the last sixteen years, sorry…_ The look on his face would be priceless; he would probably order a hit on her in his next breath.  It wasn't right to make light of the situation, but she needed to do something that would ease her mind, because all hell was sure to break lose once the truth came out.  She could care less what happened to her, but wanted to make sure that her son was not hurt in the chaos.  He didn't deserve the snide remarks and looks of disgust that were sure to be thrown her way.  

                "Aw Bunny, is that you?" Faith's voice caught her off guard.

                "I thought I told you to get lost," Jason muttered before Courtney could get a response out.

                "Yeah, well I was on my way out when I saw Courtney Cottontail and decided to come over and welcome her back and offer my sincerest apology on the death of Jax."  Faith replied innocently.  "So dear, what brings you back to good old PC?"

                "Leave me alone, Faith." The blond grumbled.  Another thing that never changed in Port Charles:  Faith Roscoe.  The woman looks like she's had more plastic surgery than Cher, which mixed with her dyed blond hair made her look not a year over thirty.

                "Oh pumpkin, is that anyway to treat your dear old friend?" Faith's smile was plastered to her face.

                "You couldn't pay me enough to be friends with you," Courtney laughed.

                "How disappointing you are.  I come all the way over here to offer my condolences on the loss of your husband and you smite me.  Don't you have any manners?" The younger blonde rolled her eyes, which caused an annoyed Faith to turn to Jason.  "What happened to our little friend?" Courtney's ear perked up.  _If she's talking about Jay, I'll kill her._

"What's wrong, Faith?  Scared of a teenager?" Jason smirked.

                "I simply want the picture," Faith replied.

                "Picture of what?" Courtney interjected herself into the conversation. 

                "It's none of your concern, Bunny."

                "Bullshit.  If you come near my son, I swear to God, Faith…you'll be sorry." Courtney's voice was dangerously low and a look of surprise came across the other woman's face.  Jason stood back, preparing himself to get involved only if it was necessary. 

                "I should have known! Well, if you could just talk to your precious baby boy and explain the importance of that roll of film he has and why I need it, than everything should be just fine."  Faith edged closer to the younger blond, who remained in the same strong stance.  Courtney had never once backed down to anyone and she would be damned if things changed now.  "After all, we wouldn't want him ending up like his father." A sharp smack resounded through the crisp autumn air as Courtney's hand connected with Faith's cheek.

                "Listen to me very carefully, because I am only going to say it one more time.  You come near my son and you're done.  I'll make sure that you end up six feet under without giving it a second thought." Courtney growled and her response was enough to shock the two people near her.  Obviously, the Massachusetts suburbs had hardened the once sugary sweet Matthews and Jason had to admit that he was impressed by it.  If there was one thing that he learned from Carly, it was that you never came between a mother and her child, but Faith had obviously skipped that lesson.  The older woman stepped back in a show of fear, but threw a glare over her shoulder before retreating back into the direction she came from.  

                "Hey!" Jason called out to Courtney who was practically running away from him. 

                "What?" She asked the look of defiance on her face was replaced with worry.

                "Where are you going?"

                "I have to find Jay before she does," was the response as she continued up towards the park exit.  Jason let out a sigh, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his already ringing cell phone.  She seemed uninterested in the conversation he was having with Meyers until a comment caught her attention.

                "Yeah, I need you to track down a kid.  His name's Jay Jacks and should be somewhere in the vicinity of Port Charles Park." Courtney looked at him confused, but he continued on.  "He's about seventeen. Light hair and blue eyes, traveling on foot." He described before flipping his phone shut.

                "You didn't have to do that…" his ex wife whispered quietly, but he shrugged his shoulders.

                "Meyers will find him faster than you can," he responded before turning to the cell phone that was once again ringing in his hand.  She looked at him hopefully, but after checking the caller ID; he shook his head. The phone continued to ring, but he chose to ignore it until finally he couldn't resist the incessant beeping any longer.

                "I'll call you back later, Carly…" he greeted.

                "But I really need to talk to you!" Carly replied into the phone.

                "Are the boys alright?"

                "Yeah…"

                "Is Sonny alright?"

                "Yeah…"

                "Then whatever it is cannot be that important.  I'll talk to you later," He replied before disconnecting the call.  Courtney would have laughed if she was not so worried about finding Jay.  She wasn't even sure where she was walking to, but continued on her trek along with Jason.  Her gaze roamed through the crowds trying to discern faces, but she was having a hard time.  Everything seemed like a blur to her.

                "Courtney…Did you hear me?" Jason tugged on her sleeve forcing her to focus on him.

                "You found him?" Her eyes lit up when he nodded.

                "Meyers picked him up and is taking him back to the hotel," she wrapped her arms around his neck in embrace and felt him stiffen slightly in hesitation.  She pulled away, sheepishly and nodded an apology for her forwardness, but he shook his head.  They shared a tender moment and Courtney almost could not stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth.  _ Jason, he's your son!_ Her mind screamed, but she clamped her mouth shut.  She stumbled off in the direction of her hotel before she disclosed the truth at the worst of times.  _There's never going to be a good time_, she reasoned.

                "Thank you," she called once she was a good distance away from him and he couldn't see the worry in her eyes any longer.

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                Jason watched her hurry away, before shaking his head.  The afternoon left his mind restless.  The fact that she could still evoke the same feelings within him was enough to cause worry, but she had a son.  He couldn't put his finger on the exact reason why Jay threw him off balance, but had a hunch.  _No way…Snap out of it, Morgan.  There is no chance that he is yours.  She wouldn't keep something like that from you.  _He tried to shake the assumption out of his mind, but it still lingered in the back.  His cell phone began ringing again and Carly's number popped up on the screen; he considered ignoring it, but knew that she would continue calling back.

                "Didn't I say that I was going to call you back?" He grumbled into the phone.

                "Yeah, but what is so urgent that you don't have time for your best friend?" Carly pouted into the phone.

                "Nothing now.  So, what was so important?"

                "Courtney is back in town," Carly rushed the words out and Jason had to suppress a laugh.

                "Yeah I know that." He replied as his friend took in a deep breath, which could only mean one thing…she was about to launch herself into a long one-sided conversation.  "Carly, please don't start. I'm fine, everything is fine." He tried to stop her before she began.

                "Are you sure?"  Her protectiveness of him had been switched into high gear when Robin died and she wanted to make sure that he wasn't just trying to pacify her.

                "Yup, I mean I was surprised, but that wore off."

                "Ok." She backed off, at least for now.  "So, what were you doing that cut into our phone time?"

                "Oh, I was helping a friend," it wasn't a complete lie.

                "Who?"

                "No one important. So, dinner tonight, right?" He asked trying to divert her attention and it seemed to work.

                "Yeah, Michael is coming home, which means the whole family will be together!" She could barely contain the excitement in her voice and it made him smile.  His nephew's visits were become less frequent with each passing year and he had truly missed having him around.  "See ya around seven?"

          "I'll be there," he replied before shutting his phone.  Carly had taken his mind off Courtney for a few minutes at least, but the blond resurfaced and his thoughts soon centered on her again.  _When's this going to end?_ His mind wondered, but knew that as long as Courtney was in town she would remain the focal point in his head.

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                "Thanks Meyers," Courtney offered the man who was guarding the door to her hotel room a huge smile.

                "It's good to see you, again." The older gentleman replied moving out of the way and offering a curt wave before disappearing down the hall.  The room was dark when she entered.  The only light was being emitted from the small desk lamp where Jay was positioned in the chair. 

                "So, that's him?" It was more of a statement than a question and the only response Courtney had was a small nod.  "He seems like a good guy."

                "Yeah…" her voice was shaky. She took an uneasy seat on the corner of the bed closest to the desk.  She was so unprepared on how to handle this situation and didn't want to screw it up.  Jay seemed more at ease than he was at the park, which calmed her slightly, but not much. 

"Will you tell me about him?" He was thirsty for information about the man he just learned was his father. His mother was unsure, however.  _How am I going to do this?_  She sat there in silence for a few moments before deciding to give her son a short summary of Jason.

                "His name is Jason Morgan.  He owns a coffee importing business with Sonny, you remember him, right?" Her son nodded in response as she wracked her brain for more information. 

                "How did you meet him?"

                "Sonny actually had him guarding me," she left out the part about the strip club and "Daisy".  "At the time it wasn't very safe to be Sonny Corinthos's little sister.  After awhile, we fell in love." A smile fell across her face as she remembered a simpler time.

                "What happened?"

                "Well, my brother was dead set against us being together, but he eventually warmed up to the idea and gave us his blessing to marry. So we got married in France, it was beautiful…" she continued wistfully.  "Anyways, things happened and it turned out that I wasn't cut out for his lifestyle."

                "That's it?" Her son wasn't buying it, not that she blamed him.  It was too tough to go into details without him finding out about things that he did not need to worry about.

                "Yeah, basically..." she confirmed her eyes glued to the floor.  "Then I met your Dad and you know the rest from there."

                "I don't understand.  Were you and Jason still married when you got pregnant?" Jay asked with an arched eyebrow.

                "No," she whispered with slight shame.  "Jason was engaged to another woman and I was seeing Jax when we slept together."

                "Did you even love Dad?"

                "Of course I loved him!  It was just a very complicated time and I was confused.  I know that it doesn't excuse what I did, but it's the truth." She replied.

                "You still love Jason, though."

                "He'll always hold a special place in my heart," was all she said and Jay looked to uncomfortable too force the topic any longer.  "How mad are you at me, right now?"

                "Everyone makes mistakes, Ma," he said softly.  "When are you going to tell him? Or are you?"

                "I'm going to tell him." She confirmed, but found herself unable to give him an exact time frame.  The information seemed to suffice, but Courtney couldn't help but wonder when Jay was going to get curious again.  _Someday I'll tell him the whole story,_ her mind promised.  She watched her son get up and head towards his bed placing a soft kiss on her cheek on the way by.  He amazed her everyday with his maturity as well as understanding; any other sixteen year old would probably freak out, but not her son.  No, he was extraordinary and she thanked her lucky stars everyday. 


	6. Whiskey Lullaby

**Disclaimer:  **I don't own anything except the plot

**Summary:  **Courtney and Jax left Port Charles over 16 years ago, but what happens when a tragic event forces Courtney to come home and face the mess she left behind?

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_I hate the way I loved you, but my mind keeps going back. My train of thought just won't get off that same old worn out track_

_Tim McGraw___

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Jason entered the Corinthos' Penthouse at a few minutes past seven.  He was surprised to see that he was the last one to arrive; he could usually count on Morgan making his lack punctuality look good, but apparently not tonight. As the youngest family member was seated on the chair in the corner, cell phone connected to ear as per usual.  _That boy's phone bill must be outrageous.  _

                "You're late," Carly greeted him from her position on the sofa. 

                "Thanks for pointing that out," Jason replied as he ventured in from the foyer.  He offered Michael, who sitting next to his mother, a grin and the young man immediately got up to greet his uncle.  The boy looked like a strong mixture of A.J. and Carly.  He had his father's dark hair, but his mother's almond shape eyes and mischievous grin.  

                "What's up?" Michael asked pulling the older man into a strong embrace. 

                "Oh --you know--the usual.  How's school going?"

                "It's going…" he replied vaguely and both men laughed as Sonny entered the room. 

                "Dinner's ready," he called before retreating back into the kitchen with everyone else falling into line behind him.  A comfortable silence settled once everybody took their seats around the table. 

                "Where did you go this morning, Carly?" Sonny addressed his wife who was sitting across the table.

                "Oh, I went and got a cup of coffee with…Courtney…" she squeaked out, obviously annoyed that she couldn't come up with a lie in enough time.

                "Aunt Courtney's back in town?" Michael's eyes lit up.  "Well, where is she?  How come you didn't invite her to dinner?"

                "Your aunt is not welcome in this house," Sonny replied solemnly.

                "You're joking, right?" His son asked with a raised eyebrow.  "It's been almost seventeen years…"

                "Michael, stop…" Carly whispered trying to quell the fight that was sure to begin between her husband and son, but her attempt was futile.

                "I won't stop, because this is ridiculous," the young man raised his voice while eyeing his father, who seemed more than a little annoyed. "Who cares if you didn't approve of whom she married?  I don't particularly care for Tiffany, but if Morgan chose to marry her; I definitely wouldn't cut him out of my life, because he's my family."

                "What's wrong with Tiffany?" Morgan who had spent most of the dinner in silence finally spoke up.

                "She is kind of a bitch, sweetheart." Carly whispered quietly and a look of indignation came across her youngest son's face.

                "I can't believe you, of all people, are letting him act this way," Michael directed towards Jason. 

                "Michael!" Carly growled, but the young man seemed determined to continue on his tirade.  He was turning into Sonny more and more everyday, especially when it came to standing up for what he thought was right.

                "She just lost her husband!  Don't you think you could cut her some slack, Dad?" Michael's voice continued to rise in anger and Sonny was having a hard time keeping his at bay.  "She is your sister; most people would at least offer her a little compassion."

                "Sit down and finish your dinner before we both say some things we'll regret," Sonny ordered tightly.

                "No.  What are you going to do?  Turn your back on me?" The boy's eyes were dancing, almost taunting his father. Sonny immediately rose from his seat and began pacing the small dining area in an effort to remain calm, but all the spectators could see that he was one comment away from losing his cool.  "You force people to live up to these impossible standards and then don't hold yourself accountable when they inevitably fail you." And there it was, the straw that broke the camel's back.

                "How many times have you failed me, Mike?" His voice was ripe with anger, but his son refused to back down.  "You don't think I have any clue as to what you've been up to, do you?  When are you going learn that I know everything?"

                "Sonny, what the hell are you talking about?" Carly asked in a shaky voice, but Sonny didn't remove his glare from their son.  Both men stood face to face in the center of the room.  Jason stood close by, worried by the two men's proximity to one another.

                "Why don't you ask "number one son"?" Sonny growled.  The woman looked desperately at her child, but his eyes remained focused on his father and mouth was clamped shut.  "Just tell her, Mike."

                "Tell me what?" Carly's voice was now rising as Morgan looked at Jason helplessly.  How had one family dinner gotten so out of control?

                "Tell her!" Sonny roared.

                "I dropped out of school," Michael obeyed, but refused to move back from his father.

                "What?  When did you do that?"

                "Two semesters ago," he replied. 

                "Then where is your tuition money going?" Carly asked her voice was rivaling Sonny's in the anger department. 

                "To his business," Sonny answered for him.  "Yeah, our son is New York's City's newest gangster."

                "No he's not…" The brunette was trying hard to convince herself, but it wasn't working.

                "Yeah, well I did learn from the best," Michael shot back in his father's face. Jason wasn't shocked, he had known that Michael had gotten into a little trouble, but never thought that he would drop out of school to work the streets.  "I never spent your money, either."

                "Bullshit.  I have to the cashed checks," Sonny replied, but his son vehemently shook his head before racing upstairs.  He returned a few moments later, blue duffel bag in hand. He threw it on the ground at his father's feet, mounds of money poked through the top.

                "Check it.  It's all there, plus interest." Michael growled.  "I'm a lot of things, but not a thief."

                "Well that's comforting," Sonny replied sarcastically.  Carly shot him a pained look that neither man seemed to notice, but Morgan did.  He stood from his seat and went to wrap a strong arm around his mother.  He always was the binding effect on the Corinthos' family; he evened out his father's temper, mother's spontaneity, and his brother's rebel streak.  How he had become the only sane one was questionable, it could because he never witnessed some of the horror that Michael did. 

                "I think you should go for awhile," Morgan looked his older brother in eye.  He really didn't want Michael to leave, but knew it would be easier for him to walk away rather than their father.  It was only way to retain order and calm down both of his parents.  When Michael didn't move, his brother gave him a soft shove.  "You're only making things worse."

                "Fine," the older of the boys finally replied.  He threw a remorseful look at his mother, who tried to offer him a weak smile, but could not hide the disappointment that clouded her dark eyes.  Jason watched him barge out of the dining room and offered Morgan a reassuring smile before following him out. 

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                Michael was almost to the elevator when his uncle caught up with him.  He noticed the other man following him, but chose to ignore it.  The last thing he wanted was to have a heart to heart with Jason, because chances are he was just as mad as his father.  The elevator came to a stop and both occupants exited into the lobby before entering the cool autumn air.

                "Leave me alone…" The younger man whispered, but his older companion ignored it.  They both knew that Jason would follow him around all night and that wasn't something either of them were looking forward.  "Look, I can handle myself.  So please, just go back and check on Morgan and my mom."

                "Since when are you so worried about them?" Jason asked with a raised eyebrow.  "Because you obviously weren't thinking of either of them when you dropped out."

                "Don't tell me what I was thinking.  You and my dad can look down your noses all you want at me, but it isn't going to change anything.  It's just going to make both of you look like hypocrites."

                "I'm not trying to be hypocritical.  I'm trying to understand why you would turn to a life that has nothing to offer," Jason replied as they continued to work through Port Charles center.

                "It's not that bad.  It's not like I'm killing people or anything…" Michael tried to explain.  "I run a few gambling rings, mostly horseracing and boxing.  It's nothing major, just some easy money."

                "It starts out that way, but before you know it—"

                "I'm not like you or my dad; I'm not going to turn into a mob boss." The younger man interrupted. 

                "Why did you quit school?"

                "It was either that or flunk out," his voice was quiet.  "I just didn't want to see the look on his face when he realized that I wasn't going to make it as some high-class business man."

                "But the look you saw on his face tonight was much better?"

                "Yeah in a way it was, because at least there was some understanding mixed in with the rage," Michael elaborated. "As angry as he is right now, I know that he can comprehend why I did it…just like you can, because you both have been there before."

                "I turned to that life, because I had nowhere else to go, Mike.  You have a family that loves you and wants for you to be something more than a two bit criminal."

                "So didn't you," his nephew retorted. 

                "You're right, I did, but I didn't have feelings for those people.  I know that you love your mom, dad, and brother, which is why I can't comprehend what you're doing.  It's only going to lead to pain."

                "You don't know that."

                "I don't?" Jason growled as hurt began to take over his facial features.  "I lost my whole family as well as Courtney because of that life!" The younger man was taken aback by the sudden show of emotion that the usually solemn man portrayed.  "You need to think about what really matters to you, because the road you're on is going to push all those things away; if it doesn't kill them all together." And that was all he said before turning on his heel and walking back in the direction they had just come from.

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                "Hey Ma! I'm just going to run down to lobby," Jay called to his mother who was deep in thought reading the _Port Charles Gazette_.

                "Jay, wait." She replied before he could exit their room.  "I've been thinking and if there is anything you want to know about Jason or Sonny or anyone else, for that matter.  Please feel free to ask." She had spent the better of her night pondering their current situation and decided it was best to answer any questions her son may have.  She noticed the look of thoughtfulness on the teenager's face and knew that he would not take this opportunity for granted.

                "Why did my dad go along with raising me?"

                "Jax loved you very much, even if you were not technically his.  He wanted to give you the best life possible and at the time it was away from Port Charles and Jason." She answered to the best of her ability.

                "What was the old witch talking about when she said Sonny and Jason got out of the "game"?" He asked even though he had an assumption as to what the blonde had been alluding to.  Courtney bit her lip as she thought of a way to sugar coat her response; she didn't want her son thinking of Jason as a monster, because he wasn't.

                "Uh…Jason and Sonny were… umm…"

                "Mobsters?" The young boy finished for her with a raised eyebrow.

                "Yeah, something along those lines, but you have to understand the circumstances." Courtney elaborated, but could see Jay already waving her off.

                "No wonder why dad wanted to get me away.  You were surrounded by criminals." Jay muttered in disgust.

                "It wasn't like that," Courtney tried to hide the emotion from her voice.  "Yes, they were involved in some shady business, but that didn't change the fact that they were good people who cared very much for me." Her son didn't seem swayed by the argument and she could see the conviction that littered his steely blue eyes.  "Jason may not have been an upstanding citizen, but he would do anything to protect the ones he cared about.  He was fiercely loyal and extremely loving, which is something that no one could hold a candle too, good or bad."

                "If he was so great, why didn't you come back after I was born?" Courtney felt a pang in her stomach.  It was basically the same question that Carly had asked, but there was no possible way to explain to her son the absolute fear she felt all those years ago.  She had told Carly it was because of Jax and that was partly the truth, but there was much more that couldn't be explained no matter how hard she tried.  It was her own insecurities that kept her away from Port Charles and her son away from his real father.  She feared Sam, because of the happiness that shone in her ex husband's eyes when he was with her.  In all the years that they had spent together, she had never seen the light in his eyes that Sam seemed to turn on.

                "Ma?" Jay broke into her thoughts once again.

                "At the time, I thought that Jason's fiancée was pregnant and I didn't want to bring you back into the mess," she whispered.  It was another part of the truth, but still not the entire truth.  She couldn't explain her fears to him, not now and probably not ever.  Those were her own personal thoughts that were not meant to be shared with anyone, not even her own kin.

                "So let me get this straight, he was a gangster that got two women pregnant around the same time?" He asked in disbelief.  "Sounds like he was a real winner…"

                "Well, it turns out that Sam, his fiancée, was never pregnant she just pretended to be." Courtney offered.

"Why?"

"It's all very complicated and you probably wouldn't believe it if I told you.  Look, I know I'm not doing a very good job of explaining Jason to you, but he is a good person.  I also know that it doesn't look that way right now, but he was probably the most genuine person I ever had the privilege of knowing."  She finished hoping that she somehow salvaged her ex husband's character in their son's eyes.

                "If you say so…" Jay still seemed unconvinced but no longer wanted to fight with his mother about it. 

                "Jay please…just don't judge him before you truly get to know him; he deserves the benefit of the doubt." Courtney was pleading slightly.

                "Ok…I think I'm going to go out for a while," he whispered.  There were so many things that he needed to sort out in his mind and there was no way that he could do it confined in the hotel room.  He wanted the fresh air to help ease his mind.

                "I don't think that's a good idea," his mother replied.

                "Why not?"

                "Faith is probably still looking for you." Courtney explained, but the boy was determined to get out.

                "I can handle her." He could see the protest in the woman's gaze, but there was no way he was going to listen.  "I'll call you if anything happens, I promise."

                "Jay…" The boy's hand was already on the door.  "Be careful, please."

                "Yup, I love you," He mumbled.

                "I love you, too." She whispered, but the door had already been slammed shut.

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                Courtney wasn't quite sure what had brought her to the Haunted Star that evening.  She just knew that she could no longer sit in her gloomy hotel room alone.  So after scribbling a quick note Jay, she set out onto the streets of Port Charles and this is where her legs led her.  Walking into the place was like entering the past.  It was set up much the same way and she even recognized some of the regulars at the gambling tables.  Letting out a sigh, she took a seat at the end of the bar.  There were a few other people seated alongside her, mostly older gentlemen, but there was a young man sitting two stools down. 

                "What can I get for ya, doll?" She noticed Luke's flirty drawl and it brought a smile to her face.  There had never been much interaction between the two of them, but she still considered him one of the most intriguing people that this town had to offer. 

                "I'll have a gin and tonic, please." She ordered and noticed the look of recognition on older man's face.

                "Well, what do we have here?" He grinned.  "My eyes aren't what they used to be, but I can almost guarantee that I'm in the presence of one Courtney Jacks."

                "And I can almost guarantee that you are right," she bantered back.

                "Then I am just going to have to give you your first drink on the house.   After all, you are family.  How distant, I'm not sure, but family all the same." Luke explained referring to the fact that she was Sonny's sister and Carly was Sonny's wife.

                "I guess you're right," she smiled and watched Luke go about preparing her drink.  She heard a tap on the bar and noticed the older man's eyes darken slightly.  The young man a few seats down had obviously more than enough alcohol in his system, but was signaling for more. 

                "I told you that you were cut off, kid." Luke called, but it did not stop the tapping.

                "Oh come on, Luke." He slurred.  "You're like my great uncle or something like that…" Courtney's heart stopped as she examined the dark haired youngster.  _Michael?_ Her mind asked as she looked up at Luke, who just nodded as he placed her drink in front of her.  "Hey! I know you!" The young man bellowed pointing at his aunt. She watched as he recklessly stood up from his stool and bounded over to her. 

                "You alright?" Courtney reached out to steady the wobbly kid who stood to her left.  "Why don't you have a seat?" She motioned to the now vacant spot next to her.  Luke watched the interaction carefully, unsure of how the young man was going to act. 

                "Thanks," he whispered sliding onto the stool.  "I normally don't drink this much." He felt the overwhelming need to inform her that he wasn't the screw up that his immediate family now saw him as.

                "Rough evening?" The older woman grinned. 

                "How did you guess?" Michael hiccupped.

                "I've been there myself." She replied take a sip of her drink.  It felt odd to be sitting at a bar with her nephew that she hadn't seen in years.

                "How can you possibly be related to _him_?" The young man spit out in disgust.  Courtney knew immediately who he was talking about and suddenly the reason for his inebriation became clear.  She could relate, because there have been more than a few times that her brother drove her towards the bottle. "I haven't seen you ages, but yet you still have more compassion for me than my father, who may I add, sees me on a regular basis."

                "What are you drinking?" Courtney asked with a raised eyebrow.

                "Whiskey," her nephew replied.

                "I should have known," she laughed.  It was the only liquor that the Sonny and Jason ever consumed.  "Luke, get him a whiskey." Courtney ordered, although she wasn't sure why.  The bartender gave her a look.  "I'll take responsibility," she assured.  Michael looked at her in adoration when the dark amber liquid was placed in front of him.  She could sympathize with his need to escape.  "That's your last one, so you better enjoy it.

"Thanks," her nephew whispered downing the drink immediately. "You know what I don't get…"

                "What's that?"

                "How he can so blatantly cut out the people who love him.  He did it to you and it's only a matter of time before he does it to me and then who's next?  Morgan?" His aunt listened to him ramble on, but knew it was the liquor talking, because deep down Michael was that same six year old boy that idolized his father and loved him more than anything else.

                "Your dad loves you, kiddo.  It's just hard for him to show it sometimes."

                "Yeah, right."

                "He does and you will be doing yourself a major disservice if you allow him to close you out.  Sometimes you have to fight the people you love." Courtney advised.

                "Why should I have to force my own father to continue being in my life?" Michael asked.

                "I didn't say that.  It's just that Sonny is very stubborn and sometimes you have make him understand your point of view, rather than walking away." His aunt elaborated.  "I should know…" 

                "Whatever," he mumbled as his eyes began to droop down. She noticed the weariness in his eyes and knew it was only a matter of time before he passed out.  Courtney knew that she was going to have to be the one to make sure he got home.  It was the motherly instinct within her that would not allow him to leave the bar alone.  Who knows what kind of trouble he could get himself into.

                "Hey Luke!" She called trying to grab the older man's attention.  "Will you call us a cab?" He nodded and headed towards the phone in the back.

----------

                Carly looked expectantly at door, but came up disappointed when it didn't open.  It had been a few hours since Michael left and she was nervous._ What if something happened to him?_  Morgan had gone up to bed once he was sure that his father had calm down enough.

                "I'm worried…" She whispered to her husband, who just shook his head.

                "He's a grown man, Carly." He replied.  "If he can handle New York City, I'm pretty sure Port Charles will be a cake walk."

                "How long have you known what he was up to?" She asked.

                "I found out a few weeks ago.  One of Johnny's connections in the city informed me."

                "And how long were you planning to go on without telling me?" The brunette asked in annoyance.  "Were you going to wait for something to happen?  Were you going to wait until my son was in a body bag?"

                "I didn't want you to worry, dear." Sonny answered softly. 

                "I should be worried!  Who knows how deep he's into that life?" Carly wondered loudly.

                "I don't think he's in that far.  It's nothing that I can't get him out of."

                "What if he doesn't want to get out?  I can't lose him, Sonny.  I won't lose him…" Her voice was beginning to shake, but her husband shook his head emphatically.

                "You won't.  I would never allow anything to happen to him." He assured, but he tell his wife wasn't buying into it, but before she had a chance to second guess him a loud knock on the door rang through the apartment.  Carly immediately jumped out of her seat and headed towards the door, swinging it open to find her sister-in-law with Michael in the hallway.

                "Is he alright?" The brunette asked immediately as she took in her son's unconscious state.

                "Yeah, he just passed out in the taxi," she replied winded.  She had dragged her nephew all the way into the elevator and down the hall.  She watched Carly do her best to wrap his other arm around her neck and help bring her son indoors.

                "Oh, isn't this just great…" Sonny mumbled when he noticed his sister and wife trying to drag his obviously inebriated son over towards the couch.

                "Don't just stand there.  Help us out." Carly ordered her husband, who took Michael out of both women's arms and into his own.  Courtney watched as Sonny dropped his boy on the sofa before turning his attention to her.

                "He was at the Haunted Star.  I just you know—wanted to make sure he got home alright," she explained before turning to leave.  Carly looked at Sonny, when he didn't say anything she slapped him in the arm.  He looked at her annoyed, but knew that she was right.

                "Courtney?" His younger sister turned around slowly.  "Thank you." He grumbled and she nodded.

                "Don't be too hard on him…" She whispered before softly shutting the door and welcoming the cool reprieve of the hallway.  She was waiting patiently for the elevator when she heard the footsteps coming up behind her.  _Please don't be Jason_, her mind prayed.

                "What are you doing here?" She recognized his smooth voice and knew that her prayers had gone unanswered yet again.


End file.
